Dragged Into the Late 90's

With the help of my friend, Brad, I recently sold my first item on Ebay. I'm addicted! I totally want to sell a bunch more stuff and maybe even bid on other people's stuff. What sort of stuff? Well who wouldn't want a slightly used pair of Dockers with designer holes? Sure it might not sell in 48 hours like my previous item, but the bidding would be exciting. Ebay is the greatest garage sale of all time! It never ends, there's no funny smell, and you don't have the embarrassment of people driving by and seeing you buy someone else's junk. There are not even weird looking people who mutter to themselves.

To think, I could unload all my junk onto other people and make money while I do it. Sometimes I wish I could pawn a relationship off onto someone else. Wouldn't it be great if instead of going through a messy break up, someone else could just take over? They would pay for the bus ticket out of town and all you would have to do is send your ex-boy/girlfriend packing (along with all her emotional baggage). On second thought, that’s a really bad idea. I think I'll just stick to selling inanimate objects. Any one want a mint condition copper relief sculpture of our Nations beloved 16th president?