Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Hogwarts Fine Art Center

It’s interesting that a large percentage of BYU bachelor’s are banished to the Clyde and crab tree buildings. By the same token a lot of marriage hungry girls (aka MFHD majors) spend all their time in the JFSB. I think if BYU somehow made them inhabit the same building than an unprecedented number of engagements would occur. Not at first of course; because both genders would have to get used to seeing the opposite sex on a daily basis.

I think the one place on campus that has the most balanced ratio of genders would have to be the HFAC. Now before you change majors or start hanging out in there, I must warn you. The HFAC is a very strange place! Every time I walk in there I feel like I’m visiting Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. First off, there are always people wearing strange robes, hats, and scarves. Some of these scarves even say Hogwarts or display the various colors of the different “Hogwarts Houses”. These odd people always seem to be muttering to themselves or vocalizing strange incantations with great volume and determination. Many of them are even holding wands whether they are conducting music, painting pictures, or perhaps just dueling.

And what sort of Hogwarts School would it be if I didn’t often hear ghostly singing howl its way through the corridors from some unseen place. The HFAC is complete with very unusual staircases, eccentric individuals, and classrooms that are so difficult to find they seem to vanish and reappear as if by some spell. P.S. if you have trouble with the stairs just remember that in order to move upwards you must often step down a few steps proceeding up.

At this point I will caution you again__not to get distracted by all the paintings on the walls or you may find you have wandered up into dark towers or down to the creepy dungeon. Once on the lowest level, your chances of finding your way back out becomes difficult as you will be wandering through a virtual labyrinth of passageways, doors, and individuals that are so strange they rarely venture up to the service. I am convinced that some of these “basement dwellers” were once like you and me. Sadly, they have played so many roles in so many basement plays that they have lost all touch with reality. These disoriented souls hardly know who they are anymore or what their original hair color was.

Lastly, if you find yourself doubting my comparison between Hogwarts and the HFAC, simply walk into the HFAC and ask someone about a boy named “Harry Potter.” In this world he is extremely famous and all you encounter will be able to tell you about “The boy who lived” and all of his adventurous exploits. Many of them (girls) will even have posters of him and giggle if you point this out. And so I will leave you with this parting wisdom, do not venture into the enchanted halls of the HFAC lightly, unless you wish to die a most tragic social death.

7 Comments:

Blogger Kelly said...

very relevant post radley - i have gotten lost so many times in the HFAC. and i think it's so strange how you have to go downstairs in order to go up. there is definitely a strange magic holding that building together.

February 01, 2008  
Blogger B-rad said...

yay! a comment. I'm so excited I do't know how to respond. To anyone else who has been in the HFAC, feel free to suggest additional reasons why the HFAC is hogwarts.

February 01, 2008  
Blogger Unknown said...

As a former dweller in the HFAC basements, I resembled your comments more than you know. Maybe that's why I have such a disdain for Harry Potter. Its like Ned Flanders and his admission that he hated his parents.

February 05, 2008  
Blogger Mike said...

plus their vending machines suck.

February 11, 2008  
Blogger Shauna said...

Ahh, the dungeons of the HFAC. A very daunting place to be lost, that's for sure. And I will totally vouch for the odd folks that hang out there. Once in the HFAC I asked a dramatic classmate how he was doing, and he responded, "Vague." Mhm... I also had an HFAC dweller take me to the basement and ask me to dance while feeding me some very eloquent lines..which I heard him repeat verbatim onstage in a romance scene later that week when I attended a basement stage play there. Beware the HFAC!

February 19, 2008  
Blogger B-rad said...

Shauna, I didn't know your husband was in a play...jk

February 26, 2008  
Blogger Unknown said...

czpyaaello, brad. I loved this post :) made me smile and remember the crazy studio times, it was all a bit magic in there

June 03, 2008  

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